Loss, Sadness and Grief
You yourself, as much as anybody in the universe, deserves your love and affection.
~~ Buddha
Sadness can be a difficult emotion to identify. Sometimes an individual thinks they is feeling guilt or regret when you are actually feeling sad. You may have a sense of loss after an abortion and need to spend some time being sad, just as you would with any other loss in your life. One person may feel a little bit sad, while another may feel grief stricken. Exploring exactly what you are feeling sad about and how strong that emotion is can be an important step in deciding how to cope with it. This can be done by talking with a supportive person in your life. It might be a family member or friend, a counselor or clergy person. Writing in a journal or reading about grief and loss can also be helpful.
Some of the things that you may feel you lost could include:
the pregnancy ~ changes in a relationship with a partner, family members or friends ~ the fantasy of your first pregnancy or your next pregnancy ~ the ideals of motherhood ~ a sense of innocence ~ freedom in sexuality ~ changes in body image.
The experience of loss and sadness varies from person to person. It is okay to grieve one or many losses a little bit or a lot. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and there is no right or wrong time frame for grief. After an abortion you may spend a few days or weeks grieving, while another could take a year to address all their feelings. It is important to grieve in your own time and in your own way. If you are having trouble managing your feelings of loss and sadness, talk to a counselor.
If you are having trouble processing loss and sadness and cannot get past grief you may want to talk with a counselor; you can call the clinic (780-484-1124) to ask for a referral.
You can also use our resource list to find a book or website that can be helpful: resource list.
PDF – Coping After a Loss – Acknowledging loss after an abortion and/or pregnancy loss & using rituals to help in your journey
